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After getting all of Pope Benedict' s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

 'Who' s going to tell' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms/hr. (Remember, the Pope is German.)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph. 'So bust him,' says the Chief.

 'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important', said the cop.

 The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

 'No, I mean really important,!!', said the cop with a bit of persistence.

 The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'

 Cop: 'Bigger. '

 Chief: 'A senator?'

 Cop: 'Bigger. '

 Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'

 Cop: 'Bigger. '

 'Well !!', said the Chief, 'who is it?'

 Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious,

'What makes you think it's God?'

 Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

His excuse.. (Or his name is not ..."You Know Who")

UPDATE

Anwar temui pelanduk 2 serupa?

LAMIAFAMILIA

Kita juga difahamkan bahawa usaha ini mengambil masa yang lama sebab pelanduk dua serupa tersebut terpaksa melakukan 'plastic surgery' untuk pastikan paras rupa mirip Anwar. Dengar kata orang Thailand itu akan membuat pengakuan dalam bahasa Thailand bahawa dia yang terlibat dalam semua kegiatan liwat. Anwar juga akan buat dakwaan bahawa UMNO yang bayar orang Thailand tersebut.  

13 Kejutan dari Anwar - BUJANG SENANG

Original Post

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.

He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,

"Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.  Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" The man asks.

"Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one.

The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Casino D'Genting ."

They go to Genting Highlands and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"

The frog says, "Ribbit roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies,

"Ribbit $3000, Black 6."

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.

Boom!

Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
  
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."

 The frog replies,

"Ribbit Kiss Me."

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous China doll.

 "And that, your honor, is how this teenager ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not ..."You Know Who."


By the way ... you may want to click HERE.

Oh my english..

DATE/TIME: SUNDAY MORNING

PLACE: CHURCH

OCCASION: PRAYERS FOR THE NEEDY

PREACHER: Anyone with 'special needs', please come forward to the front of the altar. 
JOHNNY: I have special needs.
PREACHER: Johnny, what do you want me to pray for you?
JOHNNY: Preacher, I need some help with my hearing.

The preacher put one of his fingers in Johnny's ear, then he took his other hand and placed it on top of Johnny's head and then he prayed and prayed. Eventually the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm. 

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands and stood back.

PREACHER: Johnny, how is your hearing now?
JOHNNY: I don't know. My hearing is on Monday in the Local Court.

Business (...and a little bit of gurau-gurau politics)

Now.. gurau-gurau politics sikit.....

Can't help it.. but to make this video as a little collection here... hahaha.. jangan marah ye?


More HERE... thanks TUKANG DOK PEGHATI !!!


UPDATE !

Is there a "Hitler angry video" for THIS ONE? thanks PISTOL NAKAL !!!

HIS PROMISE

"His obsession with becoming Prime Minister will drive him to create an “Arab Spring” so that his ambition would become a reality. To him, it does not matter if the country is destabilised and regresses economically as long as he gets to be Prime Minister."

Why Kempen SSS did what they did? - Language Barrier

Visit KEMPEN SSS by clicking the logo below:-

Language Barrier 

This went around sometime ago, but have a laugh anyway!

HOW THE CHINESE STAY PUT IN ITALY

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would have to leave.

The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked an old man named Ah Pek to represent them.

As Ah Pek was not conversant in Italian language, he asked for one condition to be added to the debate.

'To be fair', he said, 'neither side would be allowed to talk'. The Pope agreed.

On the day of the big debate, Ah Pek and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Pek looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Pek pointed to the ground at where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Pek pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said: 'I give up. This man is too good in religious knowledge. The Chinese can stay.'

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened.

The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.

Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin.

He had an answer for everything. What could I do??'

Meanwhile, the Chinese community also crowded around Ah Pek and asked him what's happened in the debate.

'Well', said Ah Pek. 'First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I raised my third finger and asked him to f*@k off, and that none of us was leaving.

Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right here.'

'Yes, and then???' asked the crowd.

'I don't know', said Ah Pek, 'He took out his lunch, and I took out mine.'

Read recent postings by KEMPEN SSS, here... lagi-lagi BAPAK VERNAKULAR !!