Saturday, March 31, 2012

They walk amongst us!


Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:

 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it...'

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read:

'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!



 

I stopped at Mc Donald's and ordered some fries.

The girl behind the counter said "would you like some fries with that?"




One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....

'Look at that dead bird!'

Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where? '

They walk among us!

*****************************

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'

My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime.
She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....... '

They Walk Among Us! 


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. 

They Walk Among Us!

 ****************************

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.

She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

*****************************

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said,
 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.... 

They Walk Among Us ! 



I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.  The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.

'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'.... (I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!


*****************************

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

*****************************


And last, but not least: Dumb as a box of Rocks


A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN OUR PARLIAMENT, TRUE STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'

'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history..


Friday, March 30, 2012

Rich man's world?



6 PRINCIPLES OF LIFE
  1. No point using limited life to chase unlimited money.
  2. No point earning so much money you cannot live to spend it.
  3. Money is not yours until you spend it.
  4. When you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth; when you are old, you use your wealth to buy back your health. Difference is that, it is too late.
  5. How happy a man is, not how much he has but how little he needs.
  6. No point working so hard to provide for the people you have no time to spend with.


What an interesting "MAN", we are




(ABBA - Money Money Money Lyrics)


Remember this:
We come to this world with nothing,
We leave this world with nothing!
This is the proof that you don't have to have money to be happy.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Agenda sulit dan terancang?


(AZLI SHUKRI TODAY)
Mengapa tidak sahaja disebut hancurkan sahaja BN, atau hapuskan sahaja MCA, MIC atau GERAKAN? Mengapa mesti "penghapusan" harus dirujuk kepada UMNO semata-mata? Dan mengapa mesti dilancarkan gerakan "Asalkan Bukan UMNO" sebagai agenda utama perjuangan demokrasi Pakatan Rakyat dalam PRU kali ini? Kenyataan terbaru Lim Guan Eng yang mahu UMNO "dimusnahkan" perlu diperhati melalui mata hati dan kejujuran- kita harus faham, bukan UMNO yang hendak dihapuskan oleh mereka, sebaliknya yang hendak dihapuskan itu ialah segala sistem, pelindungan dan hak-hak yang selama ini melindungi Islam, Melayu dan Raja Melayu.

Read the full article, HERE...






(KEDAH KE KL)




(PANEH MIANG)



 (ROCKY'S BRU)
Really Guan Eng? All that talk about caring for the poor and [according to the Auditor-General's report] he's not built even one low-cost home for Penangites since becoming CM in March 2008! That must be a record of sorts.

Read more HERE...


Monday, March 26, 2012

The ones who make most objections are the ones who want to be out - Why?



"To simplify things, DAP's disagreement represents the pact of rare earth developers in their forefathers' country that felt threatened with Lynas. This is the group that has been controlling the market all these while and they are scared that they might lose their business. With Lynas coming up, they decided to use DAP as their agent in Malaysia to put a stop in the matter."

Read more HERE from THE UNSPINNERS

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Spread the stupidity



Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?







Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.







EVER WONDER ...
  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
  • Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
  • Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  • Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
  • Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  • Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, share it !. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Friday, March 23, 2012

MeMANDREMkan Yahudi & Yahudi Zionis


Can't help it... itchy fingers need to copy paste again...!!
Kita pun tak TAHUlah macam mana dia nak Presiden PAS nih nak memBEZAkan YAHUDI berFAHAMan ZIONIS dengan YAHUDI bukan ZIONIS.. Kot le dia jumpa YAHUDI, YAHUDI tu ada tunjuk IC yang berTULIS dia adalah ZIONIS? Atau pun dia MINTAK Pok Nik 'ALAIHISSALAM' kasi 'MANDREM' untuk kenal pasti orang sekian-sekian ini Yahudi ZIONIS atau bukan? Apa pun caranya, 'FATWA' Presiden PAS nih sebenarnya hanyalah satu bentuk 'EXCUSE' untuk memperDUNGUkan para PENGIKUTnya seperti mana Penasihat PKR lakukan dalam SENARIO yang diTULIS di atas tadi.. Memang Lebai-Lebai PAS nih semuanya DUNGU!

Baiklah, Lebai-Lebai PAS yang DUNGU patut TANYAkan kepada Presiden PAS tuh adakah dua orang yang berada di samping Penasihat PKR dalam GAMBAR ini adalah YAHUDI ZIONIS atau pun YAHUDI sahaja? Kita MINTAK keSAHIHan daripada dia!

Ha... Bagaimana? BOLEH ke Presiden PAS itu menJAWAB? Atau pun dia nak MINTAK Pok Nik kasi 'MANDREM' untuk diberikan 'WAHYU' bagi mengenal pasti mereka ini YAHUDI ZIONIS atau pun sebaliknya? Nak JAWAB ke tak? Atau TAKUT? KAH!KAH!KAH!

Do read the full article by TUKANG DOK PEGHATI, here.....


and also from GERAKAN ANTI PKR:

PANDANGAN MENARIK DR RAHMAN KADIR



Thursday, March 22, 2012

Any chinese want to read what A MALAYSIAN wrote about you?


I picked this up from JEBAT MUST DIE. Read the full article here...


Dong Jiao Zong: So, What Is The Problem?

By Jolina Tan

After much noise and ‘foot thumping’ by the Dong Jiao Zong over the appointment of non-Mandarin educated teachers in Chinese vernacular schools, it is reported that the 17 teachers involved were only directed to teach Bahasa Malaysia, which is why Mandarin background is not deemed essential.

A friend of mine asked, so what’s the noise and foot-thumping all about?  Demonstration of power?

It’s the upcoming election, isn’t it?  All the political parties must be made aware of the power of Dong Zong and that whichever party is ready to kow-tow to this organization, would be ‘blessed’ with its support.

Just because the Dong Zong fights for the Chinese, doesn’t mean it represents 100% of us.   I am among the few Chinese who is uncomfortable with this unhealthy but upward trend of ‘power-testing’ by our people, championed by Dong Jiao Zong.

We all know that it is important to not lose our roots but aren’t we the ones asking the nation to be Malaysian First, and race second?   Naturally, as Malaysian, we must put our Bahasa Kebangsaan first and Mandarin second.    But it never seem that way to me and no wonder the Malays are going berserk towards us.

I am one of the many Malaysian Chinese who can’t speak Mandarin and I’m not proud of it.  I wish I could, as it is an advantage to know many languages.

But I don’t feel guilty for not being able to speak Mandarin because I believe in being Malaysian First and Chinese Second.

When I go overseas, I hate it when people get confuse of whether I am from Malaysia or China because most of us Malaysian Chinese do not have anything to show that can relate us to Malaysia, except that it is written as so, in our passport.   If there is anything that can relate us to our country, it is only our broken Bahasa Malaysia.  And yet, we scream if we didn’t get treated as loyal Malaysians.

Whereas, the Thailand or Indonesian Chinese are easy to be recognized when overseas for they usually speak their national language.   They also strongly considered the traditional dress and culture of the original Thais or Indonesians as theirs too.  For this, the original Thais and Indonesians have no prejudice towards them and accept them as their own.

In fact, in all parts of the world, the immigrants would quickly adopt and practice the original language and culture of the country, in order to blend in and be accepted.  Like it or not, only in Malaysia that such cases of ‘alien-citizen’ is common.   And I’m pointing out to you that it is as much our fault, as everybody else’s.

I respect Dong Zong for its determination to keep the spirit of our ancestors’ and motherland alive and strong.    But I strongly feels that Dong Zong, as an education NGO should help promote unity instead of extremism.

We want the Malays to be Malaysian first and Malay second but are we doing the same?   What does it mean to be Malaysian?  What is Malaysia, anyway?

I don’t know what the Dong Zong have in mind about Malaysia, but I don’t want to teach my children to lie to themselves about their roots.  I want them to accept the fact that even though our ancestors were from China, China is no longer our country.

Our country is MalaysiaOur national language is Bahasa Malaysia, our culture is of a very strong influence of the Malay culture because Malay is the original settlers of this land.  Our traditional dress is the baju kebangsaan and all Chinese or Indians just have to accept it or should not claim to be Malaysians.   However, as non-Malays, we have the right to uphold our race’s traditional dress too, in respect of our roots.

I bring this matter up because I don’t see any solution to the never-ending prejudice among all the races in Malaysia.   Everybody is backing up their own races’ arguments but none would admit their wrongs.

We have always complained of being discriminated in terms of education, properties, government projects and all but have we ever tried to look at it from the eyes of others?

With Dong Zong constantly fighting for separation of our race from others, how can we expect the Malays to not have any prejudice and suspicions towards us?  How can we expect them to feel secure enough to abolish the policy that discriminate us when we, ourselves, are still aliens to them?

I believe that only when we truly blend in, that the privilege and special rights of the Bumis can be truly abolished.   Let’s not be hypocrites and selfish.  Let’s truly fight for unity, for a 1Bangsa Malaysia, for our own sake.

Instead of demanding, provoking and threatening, may be Dong Zong should start offering, giving and co-operating in sharing ideas and working towards bringing the races together.   Prove that the Chinese too, can truly be Malaysian First and Chinese Second.


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Lantaklah...


Ada yang marah... geram... lalu diboikotnya suara-suara seperti ini... dituduh kononnya lidah pembangkang.. 

walhal.. sejak dulu lagi hingga dah nak sampai PRU pun masih juga belum penat, belum give up... terus cuba menegur, memberi isyarat, supaya "malapetaka" tidak berlaku...

Teruskanlah mengulit orang-orang tidak sedar-sedar bermimpi di siang hari.. bodek.. ampu.. everything is all right.. jangan dok dengar "lidah-lidah pembangkang" ni... sabotaj mereka.. boikot mereka...

Lantaklah....

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Some politicians behind doors


Do you believe (some) politicians when they try to do some cover up? (e.g. 121 and of recent, the Swiss Garden, Kuantan)


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Gatal yang tidak boleh digaru...


Eversince I took  ...L I S T E D!!! off from public viewing, I still could not get rid of this "itch", that is to re-produce or re-publish article by other bloggers which I love to share with readers. I guess I will  tend to my "itch", here, once in a while, as I feel like it.

The difference is, in ...L I S T E D!!!,I used to publish only snippets of the article, but here, I guess I will publish in full (with a little of "cosmetics" here and there).

So here it is.. a recent article by TUKANG DOK PEGHATI.



The PARASITES that live within your PARTY..

 

ASSALAMUALAIKUM dan SALAM SEJAHTERA..

Ada orang kata Kak Ijat telah berKORBAN.. Walaupun sebenarnya Kak Ijat 'RESIGN' pasal tempoh JAWATAN Senatornya sudah 'EXPIRED', namun tak ada siapa pun menyebutnya.. Dalam KONTEKS ini, kita PERCAYA Kak Ijat TIDAK pergi begitu sahaja.. Sudah tentu ada peRANCANGannya demi memastikan UMNO TIDAK diJEJASkan oleh ISU berKAITan dengan KELUARGAnya.. Jika PEMIMPIN itu benar-benar PEMIMPIN yang TULEN, dia pasti akan BANGKIT daripada keJATUHannya.. Jadik, baik PENYOKONG atau pemBENCI Kak Ijat dalam UMNO, siapa TAHU hayat POLITIKnya mungkin jauh lebih PANJANG lagi?

Pada kitalah, ISU Kak Ijat sebenarnya sangat REMEH.. ISU ini hanyalah ISU dalam sebuah syarikat KORPORAT yang menDAPATkan PINJAMAN kerajaan untuk menJAYAkan PROJEKnya.. Apakah ISU sebegini TIDAK berlaku di luar sana? Apakah ISU ini TIDAK ada di dalam Kerajaan NEGERI PR? Ada.. Cuma ianya TIDAK diperBESARkan dan diHEBOHkan.. Sebaliknya Kerajaan NEGERI PR berjaya 'COVERLINE' dengan BAIK dibantu oleh JENTERA PROPAGANDA mereka.. Kena pulak JENTERA PENERANGAN UMNO dan para JURUBLOG upahannya lebih SIBUK nak berTELINGKAH sesama sendiri..

Inilah MASALAHnya.. Dengan segala macam keLEMAHan yang ada dalam PR, dengan semakin DEKATnya tarikh PRU-13, kita masih menyaksikan perTELINGKAHan sesama PEMIMPIN, ahli dan PENYOKONG UMNO.. Inilah 'PENYAKIT' dalam UMNO.. DS Najib patut 'TAKE NOTE' bahawa 'PENYAKIT' begini WUJUD kerana ramai ahli-ahli dalam UMNO khususnya dalam HIERARKI kePIMPINan PARTI sebenarnya TIDAK mengHORMATi kePIMPINan DS Najib.. TIDAK seperti mana kePIMPINan Tun Dr. Mahathir yang TEGAS, mereka TIDAK ragu-ragu untuk mengUGUT jika keMAHUan mereka TIDAK diPENUHi..

Kenapa ini berlaku? MUDAH aje.. Bukan dalam PAS aje ada PARASIT seperti yang diDEDAHkan oleh Datuk Hassan ALI.. Dalam UMNO lagi BANYAK.. Bukankah PAS dan PKR itu sebenarnya LAHIR daripada UMNO jugak? UMNOlah sendirilah INDUK kepada PARASIT-PARASIT itu ZAMAN berZAMAN.. Sejak dulu lagi TIDAK akan PRESIDEN UMNO yang BERJAYA mengHAPUSkan para PARASIT ini.. Sebaliknya, sehabis HEBAT mereka pun hanya mampu 'MENGEKANG' aje macam Tun Dr. Mahathir.. Kalau macam PM sebelum DS Najib, dia memang 'penTERNAK' dan pemBIAK baka para PARASIT ini..

Bagaimanakah untuk mengHAPUSkan para PARASIT ini? Sukar.. Amat sukar.. PARASIT ini walaupun KONONnya mereka mengaku 'Taat-SETIA' dengan UMNO, mereka sebenarnya saling berINTERAKSI dengan PARASIT lain dalam PAS dan PKR.. Dengan kata lain, mereka ini macam ILLUMINATI jugaklah, ada aje dalam mana-mana PARTI untuk menjadi 'PENGUASA' atau 'PUPPET Master'..  Mereka akan mengawal segala ISU yang diMAINkan agar TIDAK menJEJASkan sesama mereka walaupun nama PARTI mereka akan BUSUK.. Biarlah PARTI hancur tetapi mereka KEKAL sebagai PARASIT..

Namun demikian, hanya ada satu CARA sahaja untuk mengHAPUSkan semua para PARASIT ini sekaligus.. Hanya jika UMNO dan PAS berKOMPROMI atau sekurang-kurangnya BERSATU dalam ISU-ISU berKAITan kePENTINGan ISLAM, Melayu dan keSULTANannya.. Dengan kata lain, jika ISU sebegini diBANGKITkan, baik UMNO atau PAS akan mempunyai penDIRIan yang SAMA.. Namun demikian, secara REALITInya mampukah UMNO dan PAS berbuat demikian? Cukuplah diKATAkan MUSTAHIL.. Malah, para PARASIT tersebut sudah pun berSEDIA untuk memastikan ianya TIDAK berlaku.. Itulah MALANGnya nasib UMNO dan PAS ketika ini..

Wallahualam..

Monday, March 12, 2012

Something smells like sh%#....


A Malaysian tourist walks into a curio shop in Shah Alam.

Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike, life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner:
"How much for the bronze rat?"
"Twelve ringit for the rat, one hundred ringgit for the Story,"says the owner.

The tourist gives the man twelve ringgit.
"I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."

As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat statue, he notices that a few real rats crawl out of the alleys and sewers. The rats begin following him down the street. This is disconcerting; he begins walking faster. But within a couple blocks, the herd of rats behind him grows to hundreds, and they begin squealing.

He begins to trot toward Sungai Selangor, looking around to see that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and are still squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.

Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of Sungai Selangor and throws the bronze rat as far out into the river as he can. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the river after the statue, and are all drowned.

The man walks back to the curio shop.
"Ah ha," says the owner, "You have come back for the Story?"
"No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a statue of a Selangor politician in bronze!!"

(SOMETHING SMELLS LIKE sh%#..........)

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Our schools...?

Our schools... for the young, tender ones.......

Mother: How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some men called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!


You may want to continue reading these too...

 


Related Posts with Thumbnails