Beginning of New Year
Weeding my yard, accidentally cut off the tail of my cat which was hiding in the grass. Rushed the cat, along with the tail over to WALMART!
WALMART???
HELLOOOOOOOOO!
WALMART is the largest retailer in the world!!!
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours..... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid..... wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing..... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rainstorm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October
Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December
Couldn't call 911...."duh"........ there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
End of Year Sale
Asked the salesman for 15-inches sized pink coloured curtain.
"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman.
Told him that they aren't for a room; they are for my computer monitor.
"But Miss, computers do not need curtains!"
"Hellllooooooooo ............. I've got Windoooooows!"
What a year!!
