Monday, May 2, 2011

The Law Of.......

Some of these laws maybe old but nevertheless, recent events may give a new breath of life to them ....

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee.
(The admissibility of "Lelaki Y"s DNA in court followed by the exposure of the "Chinadoll" Sex Video in public)

Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
(Anwar's hope of getting back the support from party's members, who left PKR recently)

Law of Probability 
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
("iCatch Spy Camera", if it were a person,  at the time and place where the "Chinadoll" Sex Video was being recorded)

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal & someone always answers.
(The strange cases of some women, purportedly received calls from someone higher up in the 90's. And similar cases, received by some young men in the 00's, made by someone higher up. Only this time, that someone higher up, sits on the other side of the "fence")

Law of the Alibi 
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
(Someone failed when she tried to explain to reporters, of her husband's whereabout in "the previous case". She tried again, but failed again, to convince the reporters of  her husband's Omega watch whereabout)

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
(He was the Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia from 1993 till 5:30pm, Wednesday, 2nd September 1998. Then he switched lane. He is now still dreaming of Putrajaya)

Law of the Bath 
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
(Luckily today there is Tweeter. No "tweets" during bath-taking)

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
("Here comes Datuk T", or is it "Here come Datuk Ts" ?)


Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
(Nik Aziz and his "Solat Hajat", in defense of the "Anugerah Tuhan")

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
(The 16th September Putrajaya Dream)

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
(That is what DAP to Anwar and PAS. Especially PAS with long gangly legs or big bellies, who stay to the bitter end of the performance. PAS should not have gone to theater with DAP)

The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
(Also known as the Karipap Law - You may want to ask Saiful for more info)

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
(Same applies to secret telephone calls and sms'es especially when it involves someone higher up with someone who is not his wife)

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.
(The old PAS with its all-new political friends and partners)

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
(Nik Aziz and his "fatwas")

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
(Was it this law he taught that yellow chinadoll just before she was seen to enter the toilet and came out naked?)

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
(Someone better try to understand this law first, before trying to explain another "whereabout" next)

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
(heh..heh! sorry but it sounds like Najib when he is crazily going after chinese votes)

Doctors' Law 
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But if you don't make an appointment, you'll stay sick.
(Anwar refuses to see government appointed chiropractic for his back-ache problem. He wants to stay sick, during this time, ......only during this time)
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