Blondie...

Pink Rubik's Cube for Blondes

A BLONDE ON AN ESCALATOR

A BLONDE IN AN ELEVATOR

An attractive blonde and a handsome man step into the same elevator.

The blonde sighs happily and says 'TGIF', and is surprised when the man replies 'SHIT'.

The blonde thinks perhaps he didn't hear her correctly,

so she repeats it once again: 'TGIF!' and once again the man replies 'S H I T'.

Finally, the blonde explains 'Sir, TGIF = Thank God it's Friday!'

Stepping out of the elevator, the man smirks and says 'S H I T = Sorry Honey, It's Thursday.'

A BLONDE AT AN OFFICE

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY'and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are  you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, The Boss asked her ... 'And where do you think you're going?'

She said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!'

Weird Answers

Me and daddy like horse, but mom says "No" to daddy.

The Beer-Lambert Law

English or PPSMI?

Backward Thinking

Here it is!!

Pre-school??

Seksualiti Merdeka - Putting Gay's Thought To A Good Use

Snore Killer

Some biker guys went on a camping weekend. No one wanted to tent with Fizi, because he snored so badly.

They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept in Fizi's tent and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you?"

He said, "Fizi snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night"

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. 

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!?"

He said, "Man, that Fizi shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Nuar's turn. Nuar was a tanned, older rider, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 

"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed, I went and tucked Fizi in, patted him on the butt and kissed him goodnight, Fizi sat up and watched me all night!"

Seksualiti Merdeka - Am I the MISTAKE?

Goodbye Prayer

  

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy." He practically went into shock.

He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf professor dropped dead in the middle of my lesson."

Syaitan Mabuk, Iblis Merapu

Iblis + Syaitan = Nik Najis..

PUTRA MERDEKA

 

  

“Kalau kita buat berasingan segala ‘iblis syaitan’ sana akan tertumpu pada satu kawasan.  Apabila dah banyak sangat, susah kita nak kawal nanti,” katanya kepada akhbar rasmi PAS itu. 

Bertukar Hala

Kata-kata di atas dipetik bukan dari seorang negarawan dan jauh sekali ahli politik yang kononnya pembela negara - Jiwa Paradox

Rancangan percutian bersama keluarga ke Indonesia hujung tahun/awal tahun baru nanti telah diubah ke destinasi lain....

Kenapa orang POLITIK di NEGARA ini patut MALU dengan Ong Kim Swee.. 

TUKANG DOK PEGHATI

Bukankah apabila NEGARA diHINA, semua pemimpin tanpa mengira apa pun FAHAMan POLITIK sepatutnya bersatu SUARA dan menyuarakan BANTAHan?

Zaman Tun Mahathir dulu semangat PATRIOTIK ini memang setiasa diPUPUK tetapi sejak zaman Hadhari sampai zaman 1 Malaysia, orang-orang POLITIK kita lebih semangat untuk kejar keKUASAan POLITIK dan keMEWAHan hasil 'meROMPAK' keKAYAan NEGARA.. Baik pemimpin UMNO/BN mahu pun pemimpin PR, semuanya 2X5.. Jadik, salah siapa sebenarnya jika orang LUAR makin BERANI pijak kita? 

VernacuBengs

A TRIBUTE TO DATUK MARK KODING

Artikel Voices Around yang berkenaan sebelum ini:-

• SEKOLAH HARAM II 

• Usul B.I. sebagai Bahasa Rasmi di Penang

Artikel terbaru PURE SHIITE, again, as expected a MUST READ, terutamanya bagi penyokong-penyokong sejati Kempen SSS, pencinta nusa dan bangsa "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA" dan rakyat MALAYsia amnya, tidak terkecuali juga bagi VernacuBengs yang ada di bumi ini, supaya VernacuBeng-VernacuBeng ini membuka mata dan melihat di bumi mana kaki-kaki mereka sedang terpijak dan langit mana yang mereka patut junjung.

The Equation of Nonsense
(This post is dedicated to the Late Mark Koding)

by PURE SHIITE

"Malaysia today would be a very different country if there had been no DAP in the past 28 years".

Mungkin hari ini kita lebih hampir dengan MALAYsia sekiranya bumi ini tidak dicemari oleh politik-politik cauvinis kecinaan DAP yang terus menerus menyumbang kepada polarisasi perkauman yang menggugat pembentukan MALAYsia, "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA". Ini juga menjadi sebab mengapa MCA, selepas era Tun Tan Cheng Lock, menjadi "chicken" sehingga kini dan semakin menyerlahkan sifat VernacuBengs.

I had expected the MCA Deputy Education Minister Dr. Long. Chan Onn who was in the House when Ispoke, to reply on behalf of the MCA and the government on their stand on the National Charter for Mother-Tongue Education. Instead Long Chan Onn chickened out’, and it was the other Deputy Education Minister Dr. Michael Toyad who answered.

Seperti telah ditulis sebelum INI, adalah tidak adil bagi vernacuBeng Helen Ang menyamakan "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA" Kempen SSS dengan ideologi "Bangsa Malaysia Malaysian Malaysia" DAP; PURE SHIITE mendedahkan lagi kecelaruan fahaman vernacubeng ini. Mindset Helen Ang nampaknya sama seperti mindset Lim Kit Siang dalam soal vernacubeng ini.

Dalam soal ini, harap-harap DS Najib tidak hanya beretorik dengan ucapan-ucapan dibibir sahaja dalam soal "nation building" ini. Adalah diharapkan DS Najib benar-benar berusaha meng-iya-kan apa yang telah diucapkan oleh beliau sebelum ini, "DS Najib starts to Listen?". 

Tuan Yang di-Pertua, masanya sudah tiba bagi Dewan yang mulia ini untuk memutuskan samada kita akan terus membenarkan sekolah-sekolah China dan Tamil dan bahasa bahasa tersebut di papan-papan tanda di jalan-jalan raya di negeri itu. Saya, seratus peratus berpendapat bahawa kita harus menutup sekolah-sekolah jenis tersebut dan menyekat sama sekali penulisan papan-papan tanda dalam bahasabahasa itu. - Datuk MARK KODING