BEROK: Itu la pasal.. Nanti PRU-13 nanti tak tau dah nak UNDI sapa.. Undi yang nih, RAMAI sangat pesen PERANGAI tak rupa MANUSIA! UNDI yang ni pulak bagi KUASA jadik PENAKUT.. Lepas tu nak naik PANGKAT dalam PARTI main TABUR DUIT aje..
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| SKETSA AYAM & BEROK pasal UMNO TAKUT nak SAMAN seorang ANAK DERHAKA! |
It is a slow day in a damp little Malaysian town. The rain is beating down harshly, and all the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich European tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local "Rumah Urut Unisex" hotel and lays a RM100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some room-keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the RM100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the RM100 note and rushes down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the RM100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of animal feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the RM100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the friendly neighbourhood pub. The pub owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar - who, in spite of facing hard times, has always gladly offered him, her ‘services’ on credit.
The hooker then rushes over to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the RM100 note.
The hotel proprietor quietly replaces the RM100 note back on the counter, so that the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that none of the rooms are satisfactory, picks up the RM100 note, pockets it and leaves town.
No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, dear voters, is how a basic financial bailout package in our economic model works! Now, let's find this rich traveler!
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| (credit - Funzu.com, image taken from HERE) |
Note : Please refer to the bottom of this article, for the definition, when a word or phrase is tagged with "re:",
Obe City (The History of..,)
THE ANCIENT CITY OF ORBS Obe City was once known as "Obey City" (ancient name "The Orbs"). Once upon a time, there were groups of "Pendatang" from faraway motherlands landed on the City's shore.
The citizens of Obey City, known for their "sopan santun serta halus budi bahasanya" (also known for "tidak apa") welcomed the "Pendatangs" with open arms after learning their hardships to have parted with motherlands in search of new lives elsewhere. In no time, most of the "Pendatangs" interacted and blended well with the locals, so much so that they became quite indistinguishable from the locals.
The harmonious Obey City was well governed by its most able mayor in history. The secret to this successful governance was the adherence to the City's Code of Conduct (See! See!! See!!! - didn't I tell you??!!) consisting of the Five Principles as pillars and the City's Constitution. The adherence to this CCC had actually given birth to the name of "Obey" City, from its ancient name "The Orbs".
The strict, strong and no-nonsense governance of the Mayor (click here to see the Mayor's portrait) was much to the despise of a section of "Pendatang" who is still lost until today, (re:'Dislocation') such that they labeled the Mayor as "dictator". The sect is known as the Caesarean (re:). The dislocated Caesarean was pretty much under controlled then, on top of being busy trying to understand the word "jus soli" (re:'Caesarean') in relation to "son-of-soil" (natural citizenship) and "tongkang pecah" (citizenship's right via "menjunjung langit negara asing sementara kaki berpijak di bumi yang lain" principle)
Then came the time when, by natural procession, the able celebrated-Mayor was succeeded by another Mayor. However, the natural succession had also brought along not-so-natural son-in-law in the City's governance. When the new Mayor was sleeping (click for portrait), the not-so-natural son-in-law (click for portrait) was menacing most of the time. An "icing of the cake" which had been eagerly waited to be passionately seized by the almost quiet Caesarean.
The Caesarean become very loud and vocal in their "tongkah pecah" demands, now openly displaying their long hidden "Ultra-kiasu-ness" (re: 'Ultrasound'). Chaos begins. The good names of the well-blended Babas, Nyonyas, Oghe Klate and many more are being smeared and almost none of them are bold enough to voice out their protest against the Caesarean. The one who dares in voicing it out, is being crushed and humiliated left-right-center. Even the original inhabitants become divided and some become ashamed of themselves, and some became "tidak tahan", leaving the City, emitting the "ultrasound" (re:) from abroad.
The once known "sabre tooth tiger" has become the lost kitty (re:'Cat scan') under the helm of the not-so-natural son-in-law. The "ultrasound" and "lost kitty" proved to be too much and had given rise to the underground (or rather new media) movements led by the City's patriotic sons, Kari Pedas and Anak Omak, declaring war mainly against the menacing son-in-law. (Note : The movements are not Gerakan; re:Lymph)
Finally, the movements succeeded in (technically) outlawing the son-in-law and at the same time also, waking up the Mayor. This leave no choice but for the Mayor to hand over the City's governance to the next in line.
Even though the son-in-law has been pretty much subdued by the movement, the Caesarean is still maintaining the verbosity and seems to, nowadays, challenge everything there is ,stipulated in the CCC. The lost kitty (re:'Cat scan') still remain lost and what worse, the City's Committee is turning into what looks like (to save the explanation) THIS (re:'Chronic'). Even the City's meeting table apparently has reduced in size (re:'Tablet).
The hope for a new City Committee Member is also not within the immediate horizon. For one, the members are fiercely fighting among themselves (re:'Coma') while the leader is busy in court (re:'Cortisone') postponing case (re:'Secretion') after being caught lurking behind a cafeteria for karipaps (re: 'Bacteria). Some are hopeless (re: 'Fake Labour'), one met with accident in line of duty (re:'Labour Pain'), not to mention, at least one, who seems always casting the wrong spell (re:'Pus'). The likely ones, are still homeless and scattered.
Chaotic indeed that there are already whispers regarding the current Mayor's position (re:'Urine'), having to inherit the governance of the almost wrecked' City (click to see the current Mayor's portrait). When dealing with the Caesarean, the Mayor seems to be on his knees most of the time without any power even to bring 'namewee' (re:'Cortisone) a kid, not-yet-matured member of the Caesarean, to the court of justice.
The Caesarean claims not to see, see and see, "whY" they have to obey the CCC. In apologizing state, the Mayor surrenders to the demand, removing the letter "Y" from "Obey City" to now become "Obe City". Now it looks like it is "free for all" since adherence to CCC is no longer respected and upheld even by the City Committee Members themselves.
The Mayor embarks upon many new policies but most seems to be met with all round criticisms and cynicisms from all quarters except from "All The President's Men i.e. Yes Men". Resultant from that, the original inhabitants have become more malnutrition while the Caesarean become more and more obese (re:'Obesity') One wise City dweller prophecies, "the operation (NEM / NKEAs) succeeded but the patient (Malays / Bumis) died! QED". (re:'Patient')
- Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria. (Anwar is looking for karipap)
- Caesarean section - a district in Rome.(discovered by a Lost Pendatang, when looking for the meaning of jus soli)
- Cat scan - searching for lost kitty. (Pemuda UMNO)
- Chronic - neck of a crow. (UMNO)
- Coma - punctuation mark.(PKR - PiKir arrR! sebelum buang undi tu !!)
- Cortisone - area around local court.(Where namewee never comes around)
- Dislocation - in this place.(What and Where A Pendatang Never Get To Understand)
- Fake labour - pretending to work.(Gwo Burne & Lebai PAS)
- Hernia - she is close by.(When Eli Wong joins forces with Teresa Kok, angin pasang, angin atau dia yang sudah naik)
- Labour pain - hurt at work.(Selangor's MB)
- Lymph - walk unsteadily.(Gerakan & Koh Tsu Koon are having difficulty to move, susah nak berGerak kan?)
- Obesity - city of Obe. (Again.. by Another Lost Pendatang)
- Pus - small cat.(Nazri), or a wrong spell for PAS
- Secretion - hiding anything.(Kapal Sinks in Court's Lewat Cases - "lewat" due to too many "kapal tunda")
- Tablet - small table.(BN's coalition)
- Ultrasound - radical noise.(Ultra Kiasu when making demands)
Added upon a suggestion by Sdr Bingai @ Bangang:-
- Urine - opposite of you're out.(Najib's position)
- Patient - pesakit yang tidak sakit, but however, died in an experiment at the operation table (Malay & Bumiputera)
Cikgu Siti :
Murid-murid! Hari ini pelajaran ABC kita adalah M. E. B. dan M. P. B !!! Emmmmm... Model! Eeeeee.... Eee--ko--no--Mi! dan.... Beee... Baru! Emmm..Peeee..Beeee pula....... Model ... Peee untuk... Po-lee-teek ...Politik Baru! ...... Model - Politik - Baru !!!Wee Meng Dung:
Cikgu! Cikgu! Apa dia GTP, ETP, NKEA dan KRA?Cikgu Siti:
Ha! Yang itu nanti dulu sebab Cikgu pun tengah menghadiri kursus untuk mempelajarinya sebelum cikgu dapat mengajar kamu semua.Wee Meng Dung:
您正在种族主义！Cikgu Siti:
Hah? Apa yang kamu cakap Meng Dung??!!Ah Seng Budok Klate:
Dia cakap Cikgu rasis sebab tak nak ajar singkatan-singkatan tu, Cikgu!!
"Karpal Singh mempertikaikan bahawa penghakiman yang ditulis hakim Mahkamah Persekutuan, Mahkamah Rayuan, Mahkamah Tinggi dan mahkamah sokongan dalam kedua-dua kes jenayah dan sivil mestilah dalam Bahasa Malaysia mengikut peruntukan Artikel 152 Perlembagaan Persekutuan dan Seksyen 8 Akta Bahasa Kebangsaan 1963."Wow! Peguam DAP ini sudah berjuang untuk mendaulatkan Bahasa Kebangsaan pula !!! - Demi Anwar Ibrahim! Bila pula nak suruh Lim Kit Siang dan Dong Zong mematuhi Perlembagaan Persekutuan Artikel 152 ini di sekolah-sekolah vernakular cina?
di lain hari dan lain waktu.....
perkara yang sama berulang-ulang pada setiap hari yang berlalu, setiap waktu yang berlainan. Sudah acap kali. Yang pastinya sudah lebih 20 kali perkara ini berlaku (atau sudah sampai ke kali yang ke 30?). Yang pasti juga sudah 2 tahun lebih Nuar asyik menangguh cabaran Saif untuk mempastikan kewujudan seekor beruk yang menggoyang batang pohon tu. Sehingga kini, Nuar masih juga mengelak dari menyahut cabaran Saif.
Suami : UMNOr !!! Kenapa kau ni sekarang ni nampaknya terlebih menggatal?
Isteri : Kenapa abang cakap begitu ?
Suami : Eleh ! Sudah gaharu cendana pula! Kau ingat aku tak nampak fe'el kau dengan si Lim tu? Kau ni sudah melampaui batas. Sudahlah terhegeh-hegeh, habis semua barang rumah ni kau gadai satu persatu kat Lim tu. Lepas ni tinggal body kau pula yang akan tergadai!
** (Pandangan mata si suami tajam menjalar di segenap penjuru dinding ruang tamu mencari seni khat kesayangannya yang terukir nama Allah. Matanya juga liar mencari potret Hang Tuah - "Tak kan Melayu Hilang di Dunia". Hai! Yang ini pun lesap juga ke? Bentak hatinya...)
Suami : Hey! Dengar sini UMNOr! Aku masih lagi punya rasa sayang kat engkau. Bertaubatlah!
Suami : Aku dah sampai ke tahap mengintai perempuan lain untuk menggantikan kau, sekiranya kau berterusan begini!
Suami : Cuma kau yang masih bernasib baik kerana buat masa ni aku tak punya calon lagi.
**(Si suami mula terbayang wajah DAPsiah .. ahh!!! perangai macam komunis babi hutan! Kini wajah PASriyah gadis bertudung di hujung kampung bermain di mata.. hai.. Islamnya habis tunggang langgang sejak berjinak dengan Parti Ajaran Sesat tu... hmmm.. dulu pernah juga nak umpan si PaKiRah, langsung tidak dilayan oleh si PaKiRah.... selidik punya selidik, rupanya si PaKiRah ni tidak berminat langsung dengan kaum lelaki, sah jenis yang sejenis ni!.. sayang sekali.... budak comel si Perkasayang tu masih terlalu muda sangat lagi... tersedar semula dari lamunan....)
Suami : Ini amaran terakhir ! Kau menggatal lagi dengan Lim tu, aku akan CERAIkan kau dengan talak 3 !! Faham!!?? Lebih baik aku tak berbini daripada berbini orang semacam kau ni!!!
