Blondie...

Pink Rubik's Cube for Blondes

A BLONDE ON AN ESCALATOR

A BLONDE IN AN ELEVATOR

An attractive blonde and a handsome man step into the same elevator.

The blonde sighs happily and says 'TGIF', and is surprised when the man replies 'SHIT'.

The blonde thinks perhaps he didn't hear her correctly,

so she repeats it once again: 'TGIF!' and once again the man replies 'S H I T'.

Finally, the blonde explains 'Sir, TGIF = Thank God it's Friday!'

Stepping out of the elevator, the man smirks and says 'S H I T = Sorry Honey, It's Thursday.'

A BLONDE AT AN OFFICE

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY'and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are  you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, The Boss asked her ... 'And where do you think you're going?'

She said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!'

Weird Answers

Me and daddy like horse, but mom says "No" to daddy.

The Beer-Lambert Law

English or PPSMI?

Backward Thinking

Here it is!!

Pre-school??

Seksualiti Merdeka - Putting Gay's Thought To A Good Use

Snore Killer

Some biker guys went on a camping weekend. No one wanted to tent with Fizi, because he snored so badly.

They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept in Fizi's tent and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you?"

He said, "Fizi snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night"

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. 

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!?"

He said, "Man, that Fizi shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Nuar's turn. Nuar was a tanned, older rider, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 

"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed, I went and tucked Fizi in, patted him on the butt and kissed him goodnight, Fizi sat up and watched me all night!"

Seksualiti Merdeka - Am I the MISTAKE?

Goodbye Prayer

  

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy." He practically went into shock.

He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf professor dropped dead in the middle of my lesson."

Syaitan Mabuk, Iblis Merapu

Iblis + Syaitan = Nik Najis..

PUTRA MERDEKA

 

  

“Kalau kita buat berasingan segala ‘iblis syaitan’ sana akan tertumpu pada satu kawasan.  Apabila dah banyak sangat, susah kita nak kawal nanti,” katanya kepada akhbar rasmi PAS itu. 

Bertukar Hala

Kata-kata di atas dipetik bukan dari seorang negarawan dan jauh sekali ahli politik yang kononnya pembela negara - Jiwa Paradox

Rancangan percutian bersama keluarga ke Indonesia hujung tahun/awal tahun baru nanti telah diubah ke destinasi lain....

Kenapa orang POLITIK di NEGARA ini patut MALU dengan Ong Kim Swee.. 

TUKANG DOK PEGHATI

Bukankah apabila NEGARA diHINA, semua pemimpin tanpa mengira apa pun FAHAMan POLITIK sepatutnya bersatu SUARA dan menyuarakan BANTAHan?

Zaman Tun Mahathir dulu semangat PATRIOTIK ini memang setiasa diPUPUK tetapi sejak zaman Hadhari sampai zaman 1 Malaysia, orang-orang POLITIK kita lebih semangat untuk kejar keKUASAan POLITIK dan keMEWAHan hasil 'meROMPAK' keKAYAan NEGARA.. Baik pemimpin UMNO/BN mahu pun pemimpin PR, semuanya 2X5.. Jadik, salah siapa sebenarnya jika orang LUAR makin BERANI pijak kita? 

VernacuBengs

A TRIBUTE TO DATUK MARK KODING

Artikel Voices Around yang berkenaan sebelum ini:-

• SEKOLAH HARAM II 

• Usul B.I. sebagai Bahasa Rasmi di Penang

Artikel terbaru PURE SHIITE, again, as expected a MUST READ, terutamanya bagi penyokong-penyokong sejati Kempen SSS, pencinta nusa dan bangsa "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA" dan rakyat MALAYsia amnya, tidak terkecuali juga bagi VernacuBengs yang ada di bumi ini, supaya VernacuBeng-VernacuBeng ini membuka mata dan melihat di bumi mana kaki-kaki mereka sedang terpijak dan langit mana yang mereka patut junjung.

The Equation of Nonsense
(This post is dedicated to the Late Mark Koding)

by PURE SHIITE

"Malaysia today would be a very different country if there had been no DAP in the past 28 years".

Mungkin hari ini kita lebih hampir dengan MALAYsia sekiranya bumi ini tidak dicemari oleh politik-politik cauvinis kecinaan DAP yang terus menerus menyumbang kepada polarisasi perkauman yang menggugat pembentukan MALAYsia, "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA". Ini juga menjadi sebab mengapa MCA, selepas era Tun Tan Cheng Lock, menjadi "chicken" sehingga kini dan semakin menyerlahkan sifat VernacuBengs.

I had expected the MCA Deputy Education Minister Dr. Long. Chan Onn who was in the House when Ispoke, to reply on behalf of the MCA and the government on their stand on the National Charter for Mother-Tongue Education. Instead Long Chan Onn chickened out’, and it was the other Deputy Education Minister Dr. Michael Toyad who answered.

Seperti telah ditulis sebelum INI, adalah tidak adil bagi vernacuBeng Helen Ang menyamakan "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA" Kempen SSS dengan ideologi "Bangsa Malaysia Malaysian Malaysia" DAP; PURE SHIITE mendedahkan lagi kecelaruan fahaman vernacubeng ini. Mindset Helen Ang nampaknya sama seperti mindset Lim Kit Siang dalam soal vernacubeng ini.

Dalam soal ini, harap-harap DS Najib tidak hanya beretorik dengan ucapan-ucapan dibibir sahaja dalam soal "nation building" ini. Adalah diharapkan DS Najib benar-benar berusaha meng-iya-kan apa yang telah diucapkan oleh beliau sebelum ini, "DS Najib starts to Listen?". 

Tuan Yang di-Pertua, masanya sudah tiba bagi Dewan yang mulia ini untuk memutuskan samada kita akan terus membenarkan sekolah-sekolah China dan Tamil dan bahasa bahasa tersebut di papan-papan tanda di jalan-jalan raya di negeri itu. Saya, seratus peratus berpendapat bahawa kita harus menutup sekolah-sekolah jenis tersebut dan menyekat sama sekali penulisan papan-papan tanda dalam bahasabahasa itu. - Datuk MARK KODING

Perjuangan KEMPEN SSS kini berputik!

Kempen SSS memuatkan berita mengenai kajian semula sistem pendidikan dengan melibatkan UNESCO. Baca artikel terkini Kempen SSS:-

Kajian Semula Sistem Pendidikan bersama UNESCO

Blogger PURE SHIITE pula memuatkan artikel terbaru , "The Story of The Satu Sekolah Memo" di mana beliau menyingkap kembali sejarah Kempen SSS. Bagaimana ianya bermula dari perbincangan sekumpulan penggiat alam maya di DEMI NEGARA, penghasilan sebuah memorandum yang tidak pernah disampaikan secara rasmi kepada Menteri Pelajaran serta ranjau sepanjang jalan yang ditempuhi oleh Kempen SSS sehingga hari ini.

Walaupun memorandum tersebut hanya tersemat di laman Kempen SSS tanpa pernah disampaikan secara rasmi kepada Menteri berkenaan, sebahagian objektif utama Kempen SSS ini nampaknya telahpun disahut oleh kerajaan, khasnya Menteri dan Kementerian Pelajaran, iaitu:-

• Kajian Semula Sistem Pendidikan
• Kajian terhadap matapelaran Sejarah

(sila baca artikel PURE SHIITE seperti yang dipautkan di atas untuk maklumat lanjut mengenai pencapaian objektif Kempen SSS setakat ini)

Adalah penting juga untuk ditekankan bahawa terdapat silap faham, terutama dari golongan-golongan mereka yang merasakan kaum mereka tergugat dari Kempen SSS ini. Mengulangi kata-kata Tagore, iaitu "to build a nation, first build a school", Kempen SSS ini memperjuang pembentukan negara MALAYsia berasaskan kepada Rukun dan Perlembagaan Negara di mana ianya perlu dididik/diterapkan seawal usia semenjak dari bangku sekolah lagi. Melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya.

Sehubungan dengan ini, artikel KijangMas DEMI NEGARA, "Racial Polarisation and the Forging of Bangsa Malaysia" amatlah relevan untuk dihayati demi pembentukan Bangsa MALAYsia ini. Dipetik:-

Later, upon satisfactory cohesion and amalgamation of the Malaysian populace into a truly united Bangsa Malaysia, then by law, ALL references to race and ethnicity in our daily activities should be forbidden.

Apabila kita semua menjadi BANGSA MALAYSIA (sila hayati tulisan Kijang Mas yang dipautkan di atas untuk memahami siapa itu Bangsa Malaysia) maka tiadalah sifat perkauman Melayu, Cina, India dan lain-lain yang menghantui kita selama ini.

Kenapa MALAYsia? Kerana bumi dahulunya bernama Semenanjung Tanah Melayu. Jadi janganlah kita begitu tebal sifat perkauman seolah-olah negara kita sebenarnya berada nun di seberang laut, hanya tubuh badan saja "mendatang" di bumi ini. Dan janganlah pula, akibat ketebalan sifat perkauman ini, kita hendak "spin" dengan menyamakan Bangsa Malaysia anjuran Kijang Mas/Kempen SSS ini sama seperti "Bangsa Malaysia" Malaysian Malaysia DAP yang sebenarnya berbau hapak politik kecinaaan. Jangan dikelirukan Bangsa Malaysia ini seperti yang dilakukan oleh blogger INI. Bagi saya, blogger ini telah menyerang Kempen SSS secara tidak adil dengan menggambarkan seolah-olah Kempen SSS ini adalah mereka-mereka yang "ektrim" kemelayuan dan keislamannya sedangkan Kempen SSS berjuang ke arah "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA". Di sini juga nampaknya blogger ini juga cuba mencemari perjuangan Kempen SSS ini dengan cuba menyamakan perjuangan ini dengan konsep DAP Malaysian Malaysia. KijangMas pernah memberi komen (pautannya di SINI):-

"this woman must have gone through gut wrenching personal trauma involving Malays and Islam for her to write such vicious fallacies."

(Komen di atas merujuk kepada artikel blogger berkenaan yang bertajuk, "Enforcing NEP on minority religions" - sila klik DI SINI untuk pautan artikel tersebut)

Itulah sebahagian duri-duri sepanjang jalan yang ditempuhi oleh Kempen SSS dalam perjuangan "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA" yang datang dari pelbagai golongan, hatta seorang Timbalan Menteri Pendidikan pun seperti yang diceritakan oleh PURE SHIITE dalam artikel beliau di atas.

Voices Around menyokong langkah-langkah yang di kini diambil oleh Kementerian Pelajaran, khasnya langkah kajian semula sistem pendidikan negara dan matapelajaran sejarah. Harapnya juga kepada DS Najib, kalaupun tidak mahu memberi sokongan kepada SATU SEKOLAH ini, setidaknya-tidaknya DS Najib tidak perlulah begitu lantang bersuara untuk menegakkan sistem pendidikan vernakular di negara ini sekali gus mengguris semangat Kempen SSS dalam perjuangan membina anak bangsa dan negara ke arah "SATU BANGSA, SATU NEGARA, SATU BAHASA".

Apabila kita semua benar-benar berbangsa MALAYsia (walaupun kita semuanya dari pelbagai keturunan atau kaum), maka perlukah kita sebut lagi "aku Melayu, kau Cina, dia India" sedangkan kita semua sebenarnya berbangsa MALAYsia? Hayatilah tulisan Kijang Mas di atas di mana, apabila lahirnya Bangsa MALAYsia ini, maka, "ALL references to race and ethnicity in our daily activities should be forbidden." 

KITA MERDEKA SEBAGAI SATU BANGSA MALAYSIA

Mari kita semua meriahkan perjuangan ini dengan menyumbang ke arah usaha murni KEMPEN SSS dengan:-

KLIK DI SINI !!!

Dear Mrs Mus Bun....

The article for sharing below (slightly edited) is dedicated to my ex-colleague... Mus Bun....who is famous with his "trade mark" that looks something like this, below (drawn very crudely but, most who knows Mus Bun will know what it is):-

I swear I had seen this "trade mark" at a famous shopping complex where he lived that time, mischievously drawn at one of the large column. That was many years ago. I was convinced that the "trade mark" was one of those of his countless "mischievousness".

The article below seems almost like him, describing it to us..

Retired husband

 
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Carrefour.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Carrefour.

Dear Mrs. Mus Bun,

 

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Mus Bun, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Melayu & Bumiputera di mata DS Najib

Tidak mahu menulis lebih. Cuma ingin "copy-paste" sedikit dari blog DIN TURTLE.

Tun Mahathir - Undi Cina Hanya Tambahan, Undi Melayu Yang UTAMA !

“Ia hanya undi tambahan. Undi Melayu perlu diperoleh cukup banyak, jika tidak kita tidak boleh menang,”  - Tun Mahathir
 

Akhirnya Tun juga yang diharap untuk menyatakan apa yang selama ini menjadi keluh kesah orang Melayu yang rimas melihat pemimpin Umno yang diketuai Najib terhegeh-hegeh menagih undi cina. 

Caution 18SX - Irish Jokes

Joe says to Paddy:

"Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife.  The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."  

Paddy says:

"Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor..   

Mick says, 

"Oh, no, Paddy, what ya doing?"   

Paddy says, 

"Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.....

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems.  They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

(image's credit as shown - image's link HERE)

Paddy says to Mick,

"I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. "

Mick asks,

"So what are you going to do this year?"

Paddy replies,

"I'll take her with me!"

Mick says to Paddy, 

"Christmas is on a Friday this year...."

Paddy says

"Let's hope it's not the 13th !!"

Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.   

Mick:  "What if one explodes before we get there?" 

Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two.!!

Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. 

"Did you find the shampoo?"

Paddy says, 

"yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

Jesus Cries...

 

A priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:

"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.

"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.

"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.

 

Not "My Way" tetapi bebas in "every way"?

Dikemaskini

Nak tanya pakar-pakar, ahli-ahli dan pengamal-pengamal semua agama yang ada di atas muka bumi ini soalan berikut:-

Adakah seks bebas** direstui/dibenarkan

dalam mana-mana agama?

** seks bebas ini sepertimana yang menjadi kelaziman orang-orang di negara barat, yang bersekedudukan tanpa nikah, sebagai contohnya. Tidak payahlah kita masuk bab yang lebih "berat" lagi seperti seks sejenis dan sebagainya lagi itu.

Majoriti di negara barat adalah beragama Kristian. Ada orang-orang beragama Kristian di sini dapat beri jawapan terhadap soalan di atas?

 PADERI Gay kahwin SEJENIS pada tarikh 31 OGOS

Yang beragama Islam pun, juga lain-lain, tidak usahlah tersenyum sinis kerana "gejala" ini sudah lama menular. Hari-hari dok tengok cerita lelaki perempuan tanpa nikah tidur sekatil dan "main" - "gejala" ini nampaknya sudah menjadi "standard" bukan? Sebab itulah Marina Mahathir nampaknya lebih selesa memberi saranan sebagai seorang yang menganut fahaman "liberal" daripada fahaman agama apabila beliau memberi saranan "MAIN SELAMAT" bukannya "(untuk) SELAMAT (jangan) MAIN".

(Siapa yang terpacul di kepala apabila "PLAY SAFE" disebut?)

Terasa nak menulis pagi ini apabila terbaca artikel terbaru AIDC:-

• Tertarik kepada tajuk artikelnya
• Tertarik apabila disebut 12 Februari 2011 sebagai tarikh penting penubuhan LFL yang dikaitkan dengan tarikh kejatuhan Hosni Mubarak (hendak memberi suatu maksud tersirat?)

Dipetik satu perenggan dari artikel tersebut. Sila klik tajuk di bawah untuk membaca artikel sepenuhnya.

Roger Chan aktif membantu kumpulan LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Biseksual dan Transgender) Malaysia termasuk menderma ‘Tropi Kejuaraan’ hak-hak homoseksual dan lesbian dan menyokong program Seksualiti Merdeka.

Bermulalah Lawyers for Liberty (LFL) Di Malaysia - AIDC

 

"MY WAY"

 (A tribute to Tun Mahathir)

Tun's "My Way" seems to be more "FREE IN EVERY WAY (click)" than LFL/Roger Chan's way...
I think...

It’s a confused nation we live in... (India vs Malaysia)

India is where a policeman kills a leopard that is actually attacking a villager, and instead of being felicitated he is booked for the crime of saving a human being at the insistence of some Wildlife Organisations.

Malaysia is where PDRM serves "beryani gam" to rioters instead of shoving them to serve one night in jail for creating unrests at the insistence of some (unlawful & some registered) organisations.

India is where Rice is Rs.40/- per kg and SIM Card is free... 

Malaysia is where ordinary citizen gets a high interest but small housing loan to own a house which housing project later got abandoned and VIP gets an easy, soft but VERY high loan to start cows breeding project which project progress trails miserably behind super luxurious condo purchase.

India is where a pizza you have ordered reaches home faster than an ambulance or police, even if you were being murdered or having a heart attack 

Malaysia is where  the laws such as ISA, EO, OSA will get abolished faster than nation unrests when certain quarters violate the Rukun and Perlembagaan Negara.   

India is where a millionaire buys a cricket team, spending crores instead of donating the money to any charity. Where two IPL teams were auctioned at 3300 crores, yet still a poor country where people starve for two square meals per day. 

Malaysia is where  an ailing national air carrier merrily sponsors a low ranking English soccer team instead of minding the well-being of its sorry-state financial status.

India is where everybody wants to be famous, not by doing good for others, but by looting others and finally getting their names in the newspapers through some scam or other!

Malaysia is where the same can be observed too. May not be everybody but limited to the "4th Floor Boys" and "geng-geng yang sewaktu dengannya".

(Pemilihan "PERWAKILAN" juga termasuk pemilihan ketua-ketua GLC, para direktor dan lain-lain)

India is where...

 and Malaysia is where the roof of a stadium collapsed in faster time than its drawing board planning stage?

Care to comment more....?