- C is a racing car that goes incredibly fast but breaks down every fifty miles.
- C++ is a souped-up racing car with dozens of extra features that only breaks down every 250 miles, but when it does, nobody can figure out what went wrong.
- Java is a family station wagon. It's easy to drive, it's not too fast, and you can't hurt yourself.
- C# is a competing model of family station wagons. Once you use this, you're never allowed to use the competitors' products again.
- Lisp looks like a car, but with enough tweaking you can turn it into a pretty effective airplane or submarine.
- Perl is supposed to be a pretty cool car, but the driver's manual is incomprehensible. Also, even if you can figure out how to drive a perl car, you won't be able to drive anyone else's.
- Python is a great beginner's car; you can drive it without a license. Unless you want to drive really fast or on really treacherous terrain, you may never need another car.
- Ruby is a car that was formed when the Perl, Python and Smalltalk cars were involved in a three-way collision. A Japanese mechanic found the pieces and put together a car which many people think was better than the sum of the parts.
- Fortran is a pretty primitive car; it'll go very quickly as long as you are only going along roads that are perfectly straight. It is believed that learning to drive a Fortran car makes it impossible to learn to drive any other model.
- Cobol is reputed to be a car, but no self-respecting driver will ever admit having driven one.
- Assembly Language is a bare engine; you have to build the car yourself and manually supply it with gas while it's running, but if you're careful it can go like a bat out of hell.
- Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
- Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant. Marriage is a take home packet.
- Love is cuddling on a sofa. Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
- Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
- Love is going to bed early. Marriage is going to sleep early.
- Love is a romantic drive. Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .
- Love is losing your appetite. Marriage is losing your figure.
- Love is sweet nothing in the ear. Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
- TV has no place in love. Marriage is a fight for remote control.
- Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".
- Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"
Wacky Greeting Cards
1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind. (fence sitters to UMNO)
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you. (rakyat to Nik Aziz of PAS)
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am... (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me. (ex-UMNO's voters to PKR)
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again. (BN loyalists to Gerakan & MCA)
5. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside card) - Someone other than you. (rakyat to DAP)
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike! (politicians to LKS)
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise. (cards exchange among PAS, PKR and DAP in PR's EGM)
8. We've been friends for a very long time... (Inside card) - What do you say we stop? (UMNO loyalists to members of BN)
9. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here. (Anak Omak and Parpukari to KJ)
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy... (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was? (cards from some PAS ADUNs in Kelantan, addressed to Bt Lanjan but landed in MCA's Boss mailbox)
11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often. (someone in BN to MIC's ex-Boss)
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep. (everybody to HINDRAF)
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia - Sungai Buloh too? soon?.) (err... a card received by DSAI?)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder... (Inside card) - What was I thinking? (some "awakened" PAS members to DAP)
15. Congratulations on your wedding day!... (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband. (anti-DAP voters in Melaka to voters in Penang on LGE's appointment as CM)