Dedicated to the Malaysian Authorities and "my name is wee"
(image edited from the original version, here, - courtesy of World Internet News)
It was the day after Malaysia's Independence Day. A thoughtful Tony Blair who had watched the celebrations on TV got onto the phone with his friend Bush:
"Malaysia!" shouted Blair.
"What about Malaysia?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I need to get Malaysia back as a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the Malaya we let go some fifty years ago," said Blair, "this is a colony we would be proud to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin' for weapons of mass destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the Malaysians to give up their weapons of mass destruction!"
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing Tony, Malaysia is a democracy you know?"
"I LIED for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the elections for you. I'm sure you could do this lil' favour for me.. With Malaysia back as my colony, we'll be back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You heard that phrase George?"
"I thought it was America who was doing the ruling Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will be equal partners once I get my Malaysia back. Come on George talk to that Mahathir feller, tell him to give up his weapons of mass destruction, or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can you call me back in five minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone down and waited for Bush to talk to the Malaysian Prime Minister. He walked over to a little globe he had on his office table and circled Malaysia gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up.
"Tony it is me," said George, "how many ships you got ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!" said Tony, standing at attention.
"You can send them to Malaysia," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily.
"No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction."
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Mahathir said you would know 'cause it is your people who made them," said Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction?" whispered Blair uncertainly.
"Some of their politicians 政客 and MP 国会议员 " said Bush happily, "Mahathir said you could take them all back to where they belong, their ancestral lands. Your people brought them years ago to work but now they are wedging the Nation with their mother tongues and mother lands allegiance..!"
Edited from the original version, here, to suit the local climate.