Monday, October 25, 2010

Sketsa - The History of Obe City ("KaBel In My Mind" Part 2)

This "sketsa" (or "satira") is a continuation of "KaBel In My Mind".
Note : Please refer to the bottom of this article, for the definition, when a word or phrase is tagged with "re:",  

Boy! It's tough "to keep it up"!  No!, I dont mean the "sudah naik" (re : 'Hernia') of Eli-Kok duo. I mean the challenge posted by Tuan Mahaguru58 in his comment toward the article "KaBel In My Mind".

Anyways, here it is.
Obe City  (The History of..,)
Obe City was once known as "Obey City" (ancient name "The Orbs"). Once upon a time, there were groups of "Pendatang" from faraway motherlands landed on the City's shore.

The citizens of Obey City, known for their "sopan santun serta halus budi bahasanya" (also known for "tidak apa") welcomed the "Pendatangs" with open arms after learning their hardships to have parted with motherlands in search of new lives elsewhere. In no time, most of the "Pendatangs" interacted and blended well with the locals, so much so that they became quite indistinguishable from the locals.
The harmonious Obey City was well governed by its most able mayor in history.  The secret to this successful governance was the adherence to the City's Code of Conduct (See! See!! See!!! - didn't I tell you??!!) consisting of the Five Principles as pillars and the City's Constitution. The adherence to this CCC had actually given birth to the name of "Obey" City, from its ancient name "The Orbs".

The strict, strong and no-nonsense governance of the Mayor (click here to see the Mayor's portrait) was much to the despise of  a section of  "Pendatang" who is still lost until today, (re:'Dislocation') such that they labeled the Mayor as "dictator". The sect is known as the Caesarean (re:). The dislocated Caesarean was pretty much under controlled then, on top of being busy trying to understand the word "jus soli" (re:'Caesarean') in relation to "son-of-soil" (natural citizenship) and "tongkang pecah" (citizenship's right via "menjunjung langit negara asing sementara kaki berpijak di bumi yang lain" principle)

Then came the time when, by natural procession, the able celebrated-Mayor was succeeded by another Mayor. However, the natural succession had also brought along not-so-natural son-in-law in the City's governance. When the new Mayor was sleeping (click for portrait), the not-so-natural son-in-law (click for portrait) was menacing most of the time. An "icing of the cake" which had been eagerly waited to be passionately seized by the almost quiet Caesarean.

The Caesarean become very loud and vocal in their "tongkah pecah" demands, now openly displaying their long hidden "Ultra-kiasu-ness" (re: 'Ultrasound'). Chaos begins. The good names of the well-blended Babas, Nyonyas, Oghe Klate and many more are being smeared and almost none of them are bold enough to voice out their protest against the Caesarean. The one who dares in voicing it out, is being crushed and humiliated left-right-center. Even the original inhabitants become divided and some become ashamed of themselves, and some became "tidak tahan", leaving the City, emitting the "ultrasound" (re:) from abroad.

The once known "sabre tooth tiger" has become the lost kitty (re:'Cat scan') under the helm of the not-so-natural son-in-law. The "ultrasound" and "lost kitty" proved to be too much and had given rise to the underground (or rather new media) movements led by the City's patriotic sons, Kari Pedas and Anak Omak, declaring war mainly against the menacing son-in-law. (Note : The movements are not Gerakan; re:Lymph)

Finally, the movements succeeded in (technically) outlawing the son-in-law and at the same time also, waking up the Mayor. This leave no choice but for the Mayor to hand over the City's governance to the next in line.

Even though the son-in-law has been pretty much subdued by the movement, the Caesarean is still maintaining the verbosity and seems to, nowadays, challenge everything there is ,stipulated in the CCC. The lost kitty (re:'Cat scan') still remain lost and what worse, the City's Committee is turning into what looks like (to save the explanation) THIS (re:'Chronic'). Even the City's meeting table apparently has reduced in size (re:'Tablet).
The hope for a new City Committee Member is also not within the immediate horizon. For one, the members are fiercely fighting among themselves (re:'Coma') while the leader is busy in court (re:'Cortisone') postponing case (re:'Secretion') after being caught lurking behind a cafeteria for karipaps (re: 'Bacteria). Some are hopeless (re: 'Fake Labour'),  one met with accident in line of duty (re:'Labour Pain'), not to mention, at least one, who seems always casting the wrong spell (re:'Pus'). The likely ones, are still homeless and scattered.

Chaotic indeed that there are already whispers regarding the current Mayor's position (re:'Urine'), having to inherit the governance of the almost wrecked' City (click to see the current Mayor's portrait). When dealing with the Caesarean, the Mayor seems to be on his knees most of the time without any power even to bring 'namewee' (re:'Cortisone) a kid, not-yet-matured member of the Caesarean, to the court of justice.

The Caesarean claims not to see, see and see, "whY" they have to obey the CCC. In apologizing state, the Mayor surrenders to the demand, removing the letter "Y" from "Obey City" to now become "Obe City". Now it looks like it is "free for all" since adherence to CCC is no longer respected and upheld even by the City Committee Members themselves.
The Mayor embarks upon many new policies but most seems to be met with all round criticisms and cynicisms from all quarters except from  "All The President's Men i.e. Yes Men". Resultant from that, the original inhabitants have become more malnutrition while the Caesarean become more and more obese (re:'Obesity') One wise City dweller prophecies, "the operation (NEM / NKEAs) succeeded but the patient (Malays / Bumis) died! QED". (re:'Patient'

PAU - No, I don't mean "Roti Pau" or trying to "PAU" anything from anyone. I mean that gathering of a political party. I heard and also glanced through some texts posted of fiery speeches by the party's President. Good! I hope whatever was said in the speeches shall continue and acted upon outside the PAU, not just remain as fiery speeches in front a certain group only. It would more convincing had similar fiery speeches also delivered in the previous MCA's meeting.

Like NEM, it seems different things being said outside and different being said when addressing Perkasa. What happen to NEM? Sticking to original track?  Are inputs by Malay Congress, Perkasa, the Malay at large etc being incorporated to rectify the NEM? I would say, NEM should employ people like one of Obe City dweller above instead of paying million to consultants like mckenzie and what nots. I think that wise city dweller of Obe is one of the key person involving in realising the recent acclamation of Melaka as Bandaraya Maju.

See! See! See! History is important!

Definitions as taken from here, "KaBel In My Mind":-
  • Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria. (Anwar is looking for karipap) 
  • Caesarean section - a district in Rome.(discovered by a Lost Pendatang, when looking for the meaning of jus soli
  • Chronic - neck of a crow. (UMNO
  • Cortisone - area around local court.(Where namewee never comes around) 
  • Dislocation - in this place.(What and Where A Pendatang Never Get To Understand) 
  • Fake labour - pretending to work.(Gwo Burne & Lebai PAS
  • Hernia - she is close by.(When Eli Wong joins forces with Teresa Kok, angin pasang, angin atau dia yang sudah naik) 
  • Lymph - walk unsteadily.(Gerakan & Koh Tsu Koon  are having difficulty to move, susah nak berGerak kan?) 
  • Obesity - city of Obe. (Again.. by Another Lost Pendatang) 
  • Secretion - hiding anything.(Kapal Sinks in Court's Lewat Cases - "lewat" due to too many "kapal tunda") 
  • Tablet - small table.(BN's coalition) 
  • Ultrasound - radical noise.(Ultra Kiasu when making demands) 
  • Urine - opposite of you're out.(Najib's position) 
Added upon a suggestion by Sdr Bingai @ Bangang:-
  • Patient - pesakit yang tidak sakit, but however, died in an experiment at the operation table (Malay & Bumiputera)
Related Posts with Thumbnails